Many years ago, I participated in an exercise at a workshop to show us how at ease we were with allowing good into our lives. As I imagined a little extra good flowing in, I was fine. But when I visualized a lot more good, I started to get anxious, even scared.
The exercise continued, expanding the amount of good I would let in. When I got past that first barrier, I was once again comfortable with the concept of letting more good into my life. It was an interesting exercise for me, showing, that for some reason, I was fearful of allowing more universal good flow into me.
Why would anyone be afraid of more good? Imagine heaven smiling down upon you, living in grace, everything falling into place in your life. Why would that create anxiety? Isn’t that exactly what you want?
Fear of a backlash. If you receive more good, you fear that somehow it will be taken away. It’s almost a superstition that one hand will give the good, and another hand will take it away. Sometimes, this comes from childhood. You might have received something you really wanted, but then had a cherished toy taken from you because your parent decided that you’d outgrown it.
Fear of punishment. Somehow, you fear that more good will bring some punishment upon you. Some force will come down and make you pay for having something great happen. You’re receiving more good than you deserve and should be flogged for it. The only thing that punishes you is your old programming. You deserve all the good you receive.
To begin to overcome this irrational fear that more good is scary, examine what happened when you were a child. When you got some toy or reward that others didn’t get, how did you feel? What happened? Did you get beat up, was it taken away, were you emotionally abandoned, resented or attacked? Maybe you always had to share, and when you got the toy back, it was damaged or destroyed.
Whatever happened to you, it set up a pattern in your subconscious to expect this type of reaction every time you received something good in your life. And it probably continues to this day. To begin to combat that programming, remind yourself that you’re the grownup now, and you have the power to say “Yes” or “No” or “Take a hike.” And that you have the strength, ability, knowledge and resources to take care of your own inner self and worth.