Dating the most important person

Dating the Most Important Person

 

Remember those butterflies before a first date? And not being able to stop thinking about how awesome this new person you met was and how they made you feel alive and relevant? Here’s some radical thinking: you can feel that way about yourself. I know, you’re probably thinking that you know everything there is to know about yourself, but you’d be wrong. At least I was wrong about myself. It was time to find out who I was, and I did it through a series of “dates” with myself.

What I did:

I stopped wearing clothes that didn’t feel comfortable. I threw out all the clothes that were tight or had holes.

I bought myself beautiful knockoff jewelry that made me feel polished.

I made doctor and dentist appointments.

I got medicated.

I took out my “thin list” and started tackling my dreams while I was at my heaviest weight.

I started biking and running. Slowly.

I started yoga.

I changed the people I saw in my social media feeds to people who celebrated their bigger bodies.

I read books about fat women living full lives.

I started to wear makeup and do my hair. Not to look better, but to have fun with my body.

I invested in sex toys.

I opened a savings account and started making small but regular deposits into my retirement account.

I found a group of local moms on Facebook and rejoiced when they actually met in person for potlucks and celebrations.

 

As soon as I invested in myself, it didn’t take much time for my attitude to turn around about how awesome I was. And the better I felt about myself, the better I started treating other people. I was less judgmental about those around me. I was gentler with my daughter and more appreciative with my partner. My new media diet made me feel normal and accepted. I saw my body shape in beautiful outfits, doing incredibly active things. It turned me into an advocate for body love.

 

Maurya Orr

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