If you are a control freak, your family and peers may become easily irritated with your behavior. There are varying levels of a controlling personality. Some actions are tolerable, whereas other traits can cause a strain in our relationships.
Unfortunately, the majority of controlling people do not recognize their faults, nor do they want to. If the problem is bad, others are more apt to express concerns. The controlling individual will either accept the criticism graciously or deny the claim.
The first step is to recognize the problem. When someone addresses our personality flaws, the natural response is usually defensive. Although some people take delight in focusing on the bad traits in others, we should not ignore several complaints from multiple people. Nobody is perfect, and we all can make character improvements. Having a domineering or controlling personality is one such trait that needs curtailing. The only way to successfully soften your personality is to acknowledge other’s complaints.
Lower Your Expectations: Certain people are controlling because they feel that no one is capable of doing things right. Having unreasonable expectations for others makes it difficult to trust people. For example, Sue did not trust her friends when it came to driving. While riding in the car with someone, she constantly critiqued their driving skills in her mind. Often times, Sue’s expectations were too high, which led to her developing a controlling nature with regards to driving. Because of this, Sue refused to be driven by anyone. When hanging out with her friends or co-workers, Sue had to drive. If unable to chauffeur the group, Sue declined invitations.
Ask for Reminders: You cannot change overnight, and no one is expecting you to. However, friends and family will expect some sort of effort. It may help if a trusted friend brings the controlling behavior to your attention. This way, you may easily identify situations in which you are prone to control. For example, when eating out or going to the movies, do you always have to pick the restaurant or show, or do you expect others to always agree with your point of view?