So, I was asked recently, “Isn’t it harder for you with a new sexual partner, than it is for a normal person?” This question initially baffled/offended me; however it inspired me to write about a subject that is close to my heart, Sex as a Plus Size Woman.
I am fat not an alien – with neither horns nor lasers for eyes. I am normal; I am just a large helping of it. Now a new sexual partner is a little nerve racking for anyone, fat or slim. However, us curvy girls can sometimes be our own worst enemies and wrack ourselves with so much anxiety that we sabotage our own experiences. So here are a few of my honest opinions and some things that us curvier girls need to remember.
Lights On or Off: This may come as a shock to you but you are the same size in the dark…and I am guessing that you have met your potential partner with a light on before you have gotten to this stage. If they want you when they can see you in glorious light, whilst wearing your clothes, why wouldn’t they want you out of them? Own the curves you have, after all it’s probably one of the reasons they like you!!!
Sexual Positions: Whilst I realise that a plus size woman such as myself may struggle with the “Swinging Lotus” position, I would also say don’t limit yourself! Work with your partner and you won’t look back! Get on top… you WILL NOT KILL THEM!! Bend Over….THEY ALREADY KNOW HOW BIG YOUR ARSE IS!!!
Build your Confidence: I know we all have body hangups and certain things that we don’t like about our bodies BUT you will also have an asset that you do like. Possibly it’s your legs, it might be your bum, hey it could even be your hair! (For me it’s my bangers!) Enhance the bits you like – if it’s your boobs, like me, then wear a killer bra that gives you confidence in your cleavage. If it’s your hair… get those rollers in and feel great about it! It’s just about focusing on the things that make you feel good and leading with them.
They aren’t perfect: Your partner will, without a doubt, be having the same confidence issues as you… and you won’t be judging them will you?? So why would they be doing that to you?
Overall being sexy is a state of mind more than anything else, so ladies get your head in the game! Don’t destroy your own experience with doubts and insecurities. Sex is something to be enjoyed and fully participated in and if all else fails… get on the Prosecco! Ha!
Check out my blog on my plus size life: www.dressiejessieplus.com