Clean your own cobwebs – spring rules

by Gina Best

It’s that time of year again: spring cleaning. Time to clean house, and I’m not just talking about the closet (though that surely needs a cleaning, too)!


I’m talking about cleaning up your life. You. Polishing up the inside and tossing out the old rules that live in your head that don’t serve you anymore. You may shake your head and say “I don’t have any rules holding me back.” News flash: you do. Everyone does. You just might not realize that they’re there.


Think about the rules that guide your decision-making. What are they? Make a list of all of them. The big ones and the little ones. Then ask yourself the tough question: “Where did these come from?” Answering this may take some time. You’ve gotta dig to uncover the root so you can eradicate it.


For instance, I had a rule for a long time that sharing feelings is bad. My dad always used to say “We don’t talk about family business outside these four walls,” so that became my rule. This held me back from truly connecting and creating deep relationships for decades.


Look at your list of rules and ask yourself: “Are these working for me?” Some of them might be. Some rules are great! If a rule is not working for you, it’s time to replace it with a new one that does work for you. I replaced “Don’t share your feelings” with “Be open and vulnerable whenever you can”. This is so much better for me. The old rule ran its course. It no longer served me so I kicked it to the curb. It’s gone.


Last step: on a fresh piece of paper, write “My New Rules” and write down the rules that you want to guide your life. The good rules. The ones that make life better and you more fulfilled and whole. It’s not an easy task. It is worth the time and effort, though. Once you’ve rewritten your rules, post them somewhere that you’ll see them! Living by your own rules is way better than living by someone else’s.

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